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| Times of depression workin amoungs myself to succeed in todays business world my mind is tired I feel such lazyness in me i feel like doin nothing but there is so much that needs to be done, gotta go 2 work, gotta go 2 my training, gotta go 2 school, gotta get hw done, gotta study for my licenese's, and gotta get learn the ordering guide to order vitimins for work sheesh so much i wonder why i put so much on myself but then agian I was always the type of person who wanted the challage but then aigan i am lazy u kno damn I hate when lazyness kicks in sucks like a motherfucker.. but i gotta do wut i gotta do work is work u kno so lets do this
In other news life is boring for me, im still seaching for that special someone but life is never fair so i ant never gonan find that person when i do then it would be to late because there gone i hate how things work out like that for me i dont kno im out peace the fuck out | | |
| I welcome myself back 2 this site, i never thought i would come back 2 it knowing that my knew and improve mind works, but i can never really erase everything of sadness out of my mind if that were possible i would b perfect wouldnt I hmm... I just come 2 get off my chest, I'm startin 2 feel the need 2 have sum1 by my side, I 2 feel the love that every1 else is feelin, the feelin 2 hold on 2 the 1 they care about havin the feelin of love... Stright forward, I NEED a GIRLFRIEND, ima cut it sort cuz im tired ill continue later....
-Vash | | |
| I welcome myself back 2 the site of depression, yet I feel no depression but I come 2 speak my mind off...
How I'm feeling? Im startin 2 feel more like myself agian I am keepin myself busy with things that must be done in my life I hope 2 spend sum time with my friends over the break only 2 more weeks, it will be hard 2 hang wit the friends because im goin 2 b workin more hours at work i NEED 2 make more money my shit is LOWWWW after buying gifts and payin off bills sheesh hurts my wallet n my bank account :-/
My life... feels like its missing sumthing... Im still search 4 a women in my life, its so hard 4 me 2 find anyone because they dont understand me or they dont know me when they know me the push away... they never want 2 kno the deep side of me they fear the deep side which is the true side, all they see is the side they want 2 see the side that everyone loves, i dont mind 2 share that side 2 give off the love from that side but i just wish sum1 can care 4 the side that needs 2 b loved mosted... What can u do but jsut live life on my path is lookin well, I guess i just need a good ol party the taste of alcohol hasnt touched these lips in such a long time nor i have recived a hug or love from anyone in such a long time... i wish i could just lock myself in my room and do nothing but watch movies and have NO WORRIES at all but thats not life... so i must do wut i gotta do... Iam tired so i shall go 2 bed good nite every1 good-bye
-Paul | | |
| I grow tired of games, nevertheless games will always b apart of me since the day i was born ha... u think im talkin bout video games nope sorry im talkin about the games of life the games people been playing upon me, the game how i was spent doin my life the wrong way who knows agian what life has 2 do wit me i dont kno its like im goin in circles. Put on a smile and walk go on ok.... No one has ever really seen me, MY real side think about it HAVE U EVER SEEN ME SAD in ur presents??? maybe u have just cuz how well u kno me. Cant no1 ever see whats it like my problems can never b solved 2 think about it i cant never please any1's needs i try but agian when they want me 2 b serious n stop actin such a child.... Where does that lead u wondering whats wrong wit me? then wantin me 2 change agina back 2 my regular self 2 pretending just 2 hide whats really wrong. I feel as if I DONT KNO MYSELF ANYMORE well i never really did know myself im just lost and i cant find my way back 2 relity, anything i ever do it leads me 2 were iam now sadd and alone i have no comfert in my life people think i have many friends 2 go 2 but yet not true i have many friends then i have many true friends and agian i have friends that I TRUST and its very rare of that because the 1s i truly trust is the 1 that i feel i can talk 2 the most about anything and my true friends i have many of them those r my brothers and my BP family you would think they would b in that catagory wit TRUST worthy yes indeed i do have the trust worthness of my TRUE friends but its just that sumtimes i dont feel that certain closeness i feel 2 speak about what needs 2 b said that iam feelin and whats on my mind...
"sign" i breath at the moment signing about why am i like this y i feel such sadness in my heart i look at myself everyday in the mirrior wondering whats wrong wit me? and as i leave and look away from myself i move back 2 the side of me where i must keep the face of joy 2 keep others in joy, my mind is set 2 where i can only please all but not myself, i not need this pain in my life but so hard 2 rid of this pain n darkness in my soul wondering what can i do next in life 2 move myself from this pain maybe if i just leave this area, or leave the country or even leave this world 2 rid of my problems i feel nothingness anymore i grow tired of putttin on this act of happyness, drinking all the time, partiyn 2 rid of my saddness only if people knew what would they think? what would they say about how i felt all i here is that the samething over n over "come on man try n 2 4get it its just a phase u will b over it n now 4get about it n lets go" yes those words such daring words of inspriation that sets my mind 2 4get all that was said on the top of my head, y bother 2 even try it leads no where fuck the bull shit its late i have work at 6am im crazy 2 b up at this hour sayin this, i guess i just needed sum1 2 listin n this was the only place i felt that would listin the blinkin montor that stares at me saying everything im saying in my head oh well its better then nothing rite... good nite thats all peace n love good nite who ever reads this... 
-pumba | | |
| Life in a tea cup, the tea i zipp lisining 2 the slow song of the moment thinking bout my life, how the weekend will b, stressful or crazy or fun? What has 2 come??? I fear 4 it not knowing what willl happen who knows good or bad its the way of life. The tea harnest my chee ha i try n relax n rest ashore 4 my short nite soon i have 2 awake 2 another stressful day of work at 530am wihch agian i have just gotten back from work at 11pm as i said be4 my life is ran by my job the job tells me what i get 2 do n makes my plans 4 me on a day off i dont kno what 2do but work, sheesh u think about it all ur life u r trained 2 work, hw, classwork, studying, getting up on time 4 school getting on time goin 2 class, sheesh WORK IS OUR LIFE no matter what u DO we r trained 2 work its the way of life, FUn doesnt come easy so rest ashore that when u run in2 fun then do it dont let is pass u by do what u need 2 do aite but agian THINK SMART NOT STUPID.
So what else is new 4 the mind at times? not 2 much at all i still wonder whats my life leading 2, i feel the pain of being alone still, its hard enough wondering y i try not 2 do the things what i need 2 do in life but at the same time i still feel it its hard hearing n seeing the love i would like 2 feel the love n and passion y not me 4 a guy thats so caring n loving and supposly wit the right things 2 say i guess... i dont kno what more is it that u want from me, all i do is give n give n give n i NEVER recive whats goin on? I TELL THE WORLD IS GREEDY I TELL U, Y man Y.... its real fucked up 2 b used n leaded on asking urself y.. y do u do things u do n u kno where its goin 2 end up, never NEVER a thank u or anything just a ok c ya... what the fuck is that N U WONDER WHYYY, OTHERS TREAT U LIKE SHIT.... FUCK that n who do they come running 2 4 advice, comfert, n sum1 2 talk 2 who... THE ONE THAT WAS DUKED... man sumtimes i wish my life wasnt pulled towords this direction i wish i was 1 of the guys in the shadows... rather 2 b in the light 2 think about it i never really choose my direction in life i feel like i was put in that spot, thats wut i get 4 not keepin my mouth shut huh.... i should of listened 2 my teachers n be quite.... "sigh" i zipp my tea wondernig what more lies infront of me, what more has 2 come next in my life what??? only god knows and budda guides the way threw chanting the sounds of life threw their voice telling us whats next.........
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